For years I wallowed in self doubt, self pity, self mutilation. I didn’t cut myself or hurt myself overtly. My method was to eat myself to death. I’d given up all hopes for a decent life. My wife didn’t love me but why should she? I didn’t have real friendships but who would want to be my friend anyway? I shut myself off from the world because I was no good to them anyway. I immersed myself in distractions to avoid my life defining belief:
I hated myself.
I’ve learned through this journey that I’m not alone. Those who I’ve coached or meet at events I’ve spoken at have shared their fears and pains and they are so familiar. So many of us, obese or not have such destructive self talk that we spend half our days on the verge of melting down.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
If you found out your best friend or mother was in an abusive relationship, what would you do? Chances are, you’d go over there and help her pack and get away from the dirtbag as soon as humanly possible. You wouldn’t support her and encourage her to “tough it out”. Why not? Because she is in danger and needs to get out right away.
It’s funny how we would never allow a loved one to suffer the kind of pain we would inflict upon ourselves without hesitation.
Are you in an abusive relationship right now with yourself? Would you speak about someone the same way you speak about yourself? For years, I was both the abuser and the abused of myself. Now here’s the good news: you can stop it today. Right now.
Blaise Pascal once said: “To understand is to forgive.”
It’s time to move forward. It’s time to believe. You aren’t perfect but you’re not your mistakes. Do and be and before you know it, you will become.
You may fall short of perfection but with self love and Pascal’s understanding, you will find in your perfection the start of a self-love affair that never has to end.
Don’t you deserve to be loved that way?